DISQUS

Graydancer · 1 year ago

It never ceases to amaze me how far apart you and I are in terms of politics but how dead-on in agreement we are in terms of interpersonal relationships. The whole idea of safewords in rope is a problem - aside from the bottom getting blissed out often, and far beyond words, there's also the fact that you can't just "stop" - things take time to remove, adjust, take down, etc.

But that's not even the issue - I recognize that I have not used a safeword in a scene, whether with a new partner or in a pick up scene, in years. This isn't trying to be edgy - rather, it's a measure of my confidence in my ability to A) gauge the way a scene is going and avoid having things crash and burn or B) Deal with things quickly and efficiently if they DO crash and burn.

soulhuntre · 1 year ago

I think thats awesome. It is clear that intelligent folks can disagree
wildly on lots of things but still agree on some stuff.
Ken

bella · 1 year ago

I think an early exposure to your way of viewing things really impacted my entire view of power dynamics. One result has been many interesting discussions regarding safewords - much like your discussion here. I personally have no wish to bottom to someone who insists on 'safewords'. IMO, if we cannot communicate like adults, we certainly should not be playing. If they are unsure enough of their skills that they wish to hand over the power/responsibility to me -that makes me leery. I understand the concept and can grok that for some it works quite well - but my world seems to be different. Thank you again - your writing always makes me think - and usually makes me happy. : )

soulhuntre · 1 year ago

Thanks for your comments and for your attention all this time :)